Writing- A moment in time

Last week our class had a writing sample. We had to write a recount on anything we wanted in past tense. I decided to write mine on jumping off the Tolaga Bay Wharf. We had 15 minutes to write a plan in our draft and planning books. We then had 30 minutes to write our stories and then another 15 to recraft our writing and fix any mistakes. Our teacher then marked us in different areas of our writing based off the story. The scores we were given are out of six and you can see my scores in the orange pen in the first image, or in the writing rubric below. On the rubric the pink is the level I am at now and the blue is my next level.